It's your write

If I told you exactly what I wanted in this relationship, I wouldn’t even know where to start. I can’t get close to people easily, years of emotional fucking turmoil has gotten me so jaded I find it hard to share love, hate and any other emotions besides sadness (not because I’m a pussy  but because everyone knows that feeling so well it’s impossible to forget). Anyway I had only wanted a fuck at the beginning of course, but regardless of what was though by anyone (especially yourself) I had grown to care about you quite a lot. It may have been hard to see under my off-putting defense mechanisms but I think it was most obvious when nothing was being said.  I often stared at you just thinking about your features and motions and the like with a reproachful look returned to me. I would have liked to continue seeing you on a romantic level but I don’t think I will see you at all because I don’t want to/cant not think of you in that way. My fondness for you will lessen eventually, preferably soon because I hate the thought of me thinking about you and you not returning the favour. I wish there was something i could do. I look forward to not seeing you, but seeing you when I interact with anything that I can relate to you… I’d like my Rooney shirt back please, but keep the really soft sweater

Lover

Devon

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