I think the biggest issue I have with my self-image is that I don’t believe that I stand out.
And I don’t try to stand out either. I don’t call attention to myself most times. I am quiet, just listening—well, when I’m actually paying attention. But, I think the reason why there are people who are different from the rest—it’s not always because they want the attention from others—but to prove something to themselves. Or because they want to be whoever they want to be.
Not some poor imitation of their mother or father, brother or sister. Friend. Mate. Celebrity or even a fictional character. Instead, they take all of the pieces of the people they know and the experiences they’ve had to create a person completely new by the time they are adults.
They become their own person.
Life is a walkthrough on how to find yourself. What is our purpose in this world, and without realizing it, who will we meet and impact? Just as we get impacted by other people, we make a difference in others.
All I’ve wanted was to make a difference in someone’s life. Positive. Not necessarily to the extreme of saving their life. But have someone glad to have me in their life. That I truly mattered to them. Helped them be better.
But the thing with that is, it doesn’t look humble. Showing humility is doing things for others without asking anything in return, even credit. You do things for others because it’s the right thing to do and another important factor to remember, is that no one should define our importance.
That’s my trouble. I don’t think I am important. Like air. It’s there, but not noticeable to the naked eye. The air comes in gentle breezes, in quick gusts, storms. It is more than what it seems.
I’d like to look at myself in at least that perspective. I am more than what people think of me. I undermine myself quite often, and people underestimate me a lot too—because of my tendency to be naive or “innocent.” I’d be the first to admit that I don’t know everything, but doesn’t mean I don’t know anything.
And I have time to grow. If God, time and space will permit me. Because of course, you’d never know how long life will last. So it cannot be wasted.
And it’ll start from within.